Should I Help my Child out with their Payday Loan?

As parents we have a natural instinct to want to help our children. When they are little we do everything for them and then try to help them to become more independent in every way. However, when they have difficulties then we are there for them again to see if we can help. This means that whatever it is we can be tempted to help. If we find out they are in financial difficulties, then we might again help them. However, is this the right things to do?

Advantages of helping
If we help out then our children will be under less stress. They will not need to find the money to pay the loan and they will be free of the debt. It can make you and them feel better to know that the debt is paid off. They will no longer have to worry about how they will find the money and whether they will be able to cope with paying for everything else that they need. This can make them feel a sense of relief and you will feel better knowing that you do not have to worry about the anymore. However, there are disadvantage to helping them out as well.

Disadvantages of helping
It might feel like there cannot possibly be a disadvantage to helping someone out, but there can be many.

  • They will not learn to cope on their own – if you keep on helping them out, they will never learn to cope on their own. It is so important to learn how to budget properly and manage your money so that you are able to afford all of your essentials. Knowing what money you can afford to spend and what you cannot is really important. If you just keep getting help when you get into financial trouble then there will be no need to learn how to manage your money better.
  • You get short of money – you may also find that if you bail them out that you will be short of money to pay for the things that you need. You do not want to end up struggling yourself or having to borrow money. You may think that you can manage, but if they then keep asking for more and more money, then you may find that you do start to struggle.
  • Others get jealous – if you help out one family member then you may find that other members get jealous. There is often a lot of jealousy between siblings and even between extended family members, so this could be another reason for it. It can mean that their relationships change as a result and that they no longer get on very well because of it. Of course, you could try to even it out by giving out money to everyone to stop the risk of jealousy but that could be too expensive for you.
  • They expect it all of the time – Once you help them out once then they might expect that you will do it again. This means that you might start to find yourself being expected to find money over and over again. This could start to put on strain on you in a selection of ways and you might find it harder and harder to refuse.
  • It effects your relationships – you may find that helping out your child could affect your relationship with them. This could happen in different ways. Once you have lent them money they could feel indebted to you and that might be a bit odd. Alternatively, they might expect you to keep on doing it and that might not be good either.

It is therefore worth thinking really hard about whether it will be a sensible idea to help your child. If they do not ask for help then it is probably best to just let them get on with things. If they do ask for help then it could be much more valuable to give them help with budgeting rather than actually giving the money. It can be tricky, because they may not want to listen, but if you sit down with them and try to help at least you will have done your best. You also need to consider what your relationship is like with them, their siblings and any other family members and think about whether helping might influence that. You might think that they will not find out, but these things do have a habit of getting out and then there could be problems, especially if they felt that you had tried to keep it from them. Also make sure that you will be able to cope financially if you help and consider what might happen if they ask for help again. Think about what the consequence will be if you suddenly cannot help them when they have become dependent on you. They might fall out with you or be in big financial trouble.